We ask for consent all the time—it applies to most actions that involve two or more people. We use it when we are playing catch, sharing food, posting photos on social media, holding hands, and much more!
“Our children need to develop their own inner voice to learn how to assert and protect themselves”
Still parents and educators alike are nervous and apprehensive about discussing ‘consent’ with their kids. ‘Big topics’ like this can be scary to teach. What if they ask questions, what if I’m uncomfortable, what if they get embarrassed? But it’s important to remember the reason behind the conversation which, yes, may be uncomfortable at times.
“It’s important to know the facts but it’s our own personal beliefs and inner values that help us make decision”
In this Tedx Talk, Lisa Osherow, discusses the importance of talking with our kids about sex and the role these conversations can play in eliminating ‘rape culture’ and building a culture of consent. Lisa talks about everything from keeping our bodies safe to modeling our values, communicating our beliefs and the responsibilities of bystanders. She gives parents, and educators (or anyone who has a little one in their life) some much needed guidance on how to talk with our kids about big topics and why we should start that conversation at an early age.
Throughout this Tedx Talk you’ll learn how to speak with your kids about sex, healthy relationships, consent, and body boundaries. Lisa’s message parallels Power Up, Speak Out!’s ideas and lessons on the same topics and can be a valuable resource for you.
Whether you use Power Up, Speak Out! Lesson 4-Consent to talk with your kids or choose to forge your own trail, make sure to hit these key points about consent in relationships:
*Consent is an active process between two people* Both parties must be willing and able to give consent-which includes things such as ‘being awake’, ‘being aware’, and ‘saying yes’.
*Consent is activity-specific* We are all allowed to create our own boundaries-It is okay for me to say yes to a hug and no to a kiss. Just because I give permission for a kiss does not mean I give permission for sex.
*Consent can be taken back at any time* I can take back my consent at any time because it is mine to give! Just because I gave consent last week (or this morning) does not mean I give consent right now.
*Consent must be given in a free and clear mindset* There’s no consent if there’s pressure or one-sided power being used. Consent cannot be given in an altered state i.e. someone under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
“Consent is not the absence of ‘no’”… “Consent is all about communicating with your partner”
Remember, when you teach your kids about consent you are teaching them about what they deserve in a healthy relationship. It will also help them navigate the most challenging aspects of their relationships.