What if you are unsure about a current relationship and don’t know what to do with it?

We will all, for better or worse, find ourselves in the unmapped land of uncertainty at some point in our relationships. This is normal: we are all new to life and we are figuring it out as we go along. I offer this response to this question:

Take time to reflect and “eddy out.” “Eddying out” is the term that river runners use to describe the action of pulling away from the main current of a river. You eddy out into a still, slow, and quiet section of the river to look downstream and figure out what you want to do. Eddying out can help you navigate treacherous obstacles, as well as just picking the best line in the current. In a relationship, eddying out can mean getting a little space and time away from your dating partner. It can mean writing in a journal. It can mean talking to a friend or an adult you trust.

When you eddy out, you can ask yourself, “do I get to be myself in the relationship?” The answer to that question can only be answered by you, but its answer can lead you to the next step. Do you keep going along with the flow of the river, or do you consider a change? We all deserve to get to be ourselves in our relationships. If you don’t get to be yourself, consider having discussion with your dating partner and let them know how you feel. In a healthy relationship, you will let each other change and grow, even if it is to grow apart.

Written by Travis Burdick